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Wednesday 7th June. Our holiday started with a gentle drive to Brockenhurst in the New Forest. Thursday 8th June A hot and sunny day dawned. After a leisurely breakfast we strolled into Brockenhurst, and sat outside a café with a coffee, eating apple strudel. Delicious Friday 9th June
After setting up, we sat in the sun, waving at other arrivals, on of whom were John and Dot from Lancashire, who we had met the previous year in Keswick!! Saturday 10th JuneIt’s 8.30am, and something very strange is happening. Sandra P & Tony are up before Larry and June! Has June got fed up with Larry messing up her organisation and murdered him in his bed? Has Larry expired from all the walking while siting vans yesterday? Has their dog Jazz made one of her aromatic rear end emissions and asphyxiated the pair of them? Just as we are about to call the emergency services, a bleary-eyed June emerges from the van.
I walked Max, and found a really nice woodland walk complete with stream for him to play in. Lynn Baharie and her 2 dogs came with me On the return across the fields we got caught by the watering system, and returned as contenders for a wet tee shirt competition! – The water was a bit cold too. In the evening, we held a Silent Auction and American Supper, organised by Isle of Wight centre. There were some foolhardy husbands who ventured the opinion that their wives couldn’t possibly come, because they didn’t understand the concept of silence! A great time was had by all, and £80 was raised for charity. We all had some real bargains –Sanda P’s included a Camping Gaz lantern for 50p, and a hammock for 70p. she’s just got to persuade Tony to build her a stand for it. A fairly early night tonight. Are we turning into Ovaltineys? I’m worried now. Sunday 11th June Up with the lark to prepare for a coffee morning for 120. Thankfully, the Isle of Wight Group did the honours. For a group who think 10 vans is a large rally, they managed to feed and water everyone in less than 20 minutes. We’re impressed, guys!
Sunday afternoon saw two very unusual events. We had a Lawn Games afternoon, complete with Sangria, and June did the washing up! In our 4 years with SWP, we’ve never once spotted June with the Fairy Liquid. What a day! We wound up the day with a visit to the Liberal Club. About 30 members made the effort, and we had a great evening. Some had a better evening than others. It took 3 of us to get Tony into the van. He said the step had moved while we were out, but we know better than that, don’t we, boys and girls? Monday 12th June Another glorious day, made even better when we find out it’s raining back home! Larry has a bad back – what have you been doing to him, June? This means she has to do even more washing up as well. Lesley Dempsey appeared with a bottle of baby oil and followed Larry into his van. We heard ‘You’ll have to pull your pants down,’ followed by groans. What on earth was occurring? We all rushed into the van to find out. Lesley said she was giving Larry a massage to loosen his muscles; that’s her story, and she’s sticking to it! Lidl has a grand opening today, but goodness knows when we’ll get there. At 2.00pm, the queues stretched the length of the store. There was only one thing to do in the circumstances – open a wine box and wait for the rush to die down. Finally got there just before 6. Sandra P & June bought so much stuff they had to ‘borrow’ a trolley to get it all back. We bought a new laptop. Terry and Sandra Earles, Tony and Sandra Piddock, June and Larry got together for a barbecue, and were joined by Jack and Lesley Dempsey and John and Dot Rickard. We put Larry’s fire bucket to good use by filling it with rocket fuel – sorry, Sandra P’s special Sangria. John and Jack had us in fits with tales of army life in the 50’s and 60’s. Tony and Dot sat quietly in a corner but chimed in every now and again with a real gem, most of which is unprintable. What a double act! Imagine Hylda Baker and Jethro together and you begin to get the picture. A brilliant spontaneous social evening, as only MCC can do it. Tuesday 13th June. A nice lazy day, socialising and imbibing the odd unit of alcohol. We took the trolley back to Lidl, and Sandra P sent June on ahead while she mugged up on train times. When Sandra caught June up, she pointed to a sign saying, ‘We will prosecute anyone who steals our shopping trolleys.’ What a turn-up for the books if the Rally Officer’s wife had got her collar felt! Evening trip to the Wight Mouse at Chale. The coach driver was very relieved to discover what a jolly bunch we were, as he’d spent the day with, quote, ‘A right load of miserable buggers!’ Relief turned to consternation when we heard a loud noise, followed by smoke billowing from one of the front wheels. The comics had a field day. Someone shouted that they thought it was a non-smoking coach, while George Hoar offered the services of the men on the coach to cool down the wheel in a way that only men can do. Within 20 minutes, a replacement coach had arrived, and Ken and Zena Rowley had gone on ahead to let the pub know of the delay. The driver was most impressed with the way Brian George and John Kerswell swung into action directing the traffic around our poorly bus. That’s the service you get when you have coach drivers among the membership. The wait was worth it. The Wight Mouse is set in a beautiful high position overlooking the bay, and the pub boasted beautiful gardens. And as for the food! 11 out of 10 to Shirley and her staff. When you have 48 different meals and not one complaint, you know you’re on a winner. And with a free drink with every meal and ‘buy one, get one free’ on real ales, the drinkers were well catered for as well. Talking of drinkers, we saw another rare sight tonight. John Stephenson is a fully paid-up member of the SWP Drinking Society, but Glenys has always been much more restrained. Until now. She followed our resident Papparazzo Brian George around the pub, taking photos of him taking photos! As her best effort was a photo of a table leg, a skirt and her own feet, I think your job’s safe for the moment, Brian. Glenys staggered up the coach steps, pointed at the empty driver’s seat and said, ‘Look, no driver!’ before collapsing in a giggling heap in her seat. Nice one, girl, but I wouldn’t fancy your head in the morning! Raucous (and rude!) community singing whiled away the journey home. It’s a wonder the driver didn’t crash the coach, as Pete Keeley’s naval songs had him in hysterics. What a brilliant night! We’re going back next week. Wednesday, 14th June A very fragile Glenys comes to book for the next Wight Mouse trip, promising to behave herself next time. We tell her that in that case, she’s not coming. There’s no room in SWP for Goody-Two-Shoes, is there, boys and girls? George Hoar complains about the singing on the bus, saying it was disgusting. As George and Brenda are always up for a laugh, Sandra P asked him what had offended him. Straight-faced, he said, ‘The buggers were out of tune!’ you caught us there, mate. A bit of a fraught morning, as Sonia Kerswell comes to tell us that John has lost his wallet with about £50 in it. The last time he remembered seeing it was when he fished out 5p to put in the driver’s collection, so we rang the coach company, as he’d already retraced his somewhat wobbly steps of the night before. No joy there, so John cycled round his usual morning route, just in case he’d lost it then. He’s a bit of a fitness fanatic, is our John! As the weather was cold and we all felt sorry for Sonia and John, it was a somewhat sober group who assembled for Playing Card Bingo. Just as we were about to start, who should come along but John Kerswell, waving his wallet! It had been in his cycle bag all along, and it had taken 14 miles of cycling and two frantic phone calls to find something that wasn’t even lost. In the league of Senior Moments, this one is well up the table! Never mind, it all turned out well in the end. After all that excitement, we had a fairly quiet evening. Thursday 15th June June and Larry took a group to Waltzing Waters at Ryde. It was very good, but seeing water dance to music made me want to go to the loo! – It was relaxing though.. so much so that many of us found ourselves falling asleep! After a barbecue lunch, about a dozen of us trooped down to the Liberal Club to watch England play Trinidad and Tobago. Jack Dempsey was on his usual Irish Whiskey and Guinness, but as he’d drunk them dry last time we went, they had to send out for another bottle of Jameson’s. Wasn’t that good of them? We used Larry’s hat as a swear box, as it was the only thing big enough. We raised almost £8 for the club’s charity. At 10p a curse, that’s a lot of expletives! Champion swearer was our Rally Officer, and it cost Sandra P 90p. Glenys had to chip in before the match even started. First drinking, now swearing. Whatever next, Glenys? Lesley and half a dozen of the girls went for a walk in the woods with the dogs, before coming into town to join the football fans. After the match, we found our way into Shanklin for a fish and chip supper. Jack covered twice the distance of the rest of us, as his electric scooter wouldn’t go in a straight line for some reason. Back at the camp, Jack and Lesley, Glenys and John and Sandra and Terry bought in various items of alcohol so that we could have an educational tasting session. Some of us were very well educated by the end of it, but at least it’s set my mind at rest. We’re not all turning into Ovaltineys. Friday 16th June I don’t know whether it was the dodgy Chardonnay, the Peach Brandy, the French Brandy or the vodka that was responsible, but Sandr P is feeling nearly as delicate as Glenys was yesterday. Mineral water all round this morning for 2 reasons:
The return trip to the Wight Mouse is filling up fast. Whether it’s the food that’s attracting people or the hope of seeing Glenys the worse for wear again, I don’t know. It’s another glorious day. We’ve been so lucky with the weather. At 3.00pm, after a barbecue lunch, Sanda P and Tony set off in their hire car for Cornwall. Terry and Sandra and Jack and Lesley promise to fill in for them until they get back. We then returned to the van to take Max out, before going for an evening drive to watch the sun set from St Catherine’s point. Sunday 18th June bricks. Don’t even ask – you had to be there! Sandra P composed a little ditty about the goings-on so far which went down very well – (Words at the end of the diary), but the highlight of the evening was our own Pete Keeley. Those of you who have heard Pete’s monologues will know how funny he can be, but there was an extra something – the X Factor – in his performance tonight. In the middle of his recitation, his false teeth leapt onto the grass. Without missing a beat, he bent down, picked them up, replaced them and carried on where he left off. Mind you, he was picking bits of grass out of his mouth for days afterwards! Unfortunately, the evening was a bit chilly, so we had to bring the curtain down early. A group of us retired to the heated gazebo to mull over the evening over a drink or several. Another great day. Monday 19th June Up bright and early for our Island Tour. This is the most popular trip so far, with 74 campers piling into 2 coaches. Thankfully, our drivers today are really pleasant and informative. In a packed day, we visit the Model Village at Godshill, the Needles at Alum Bay and the Pearl Centre, where we stop for lunch. Here we encounter Mrs Fawlty. It takes over an hour to feed our starving hordes, and there’s not even a smile or an apology to smooth matters over. Most of us didn’t even have time to look at the beautiful jewellery on display. The relief on some of the husband’s faces as they emerge with their wallets unmolested makes me wonder whether they had bribed Mrs Fawlty to cock up our meals! Tuesday 20th June A group of us decide to ride into Ryde on the train. It’s a bit like stepping into a time warp, as the trains are London Underground’s best, circa 1950. We take the dogs along with us. Lesley’s dog, Max, has never been on a train before, and he can’t quite decide whether he likes it or not. He’s got a very expressive face, and it’s quite comical watching his reactions to all the jerks and strange noises. Larry and June’s Jazz takes it all in her stride. She’s been there, done that, got the t-shirt. Terry Earles has been teaching Sandra P the finer points of the Cockney Lingo during this holiday, and he decides that, in order to become a fully-fledged honorary Cockney, I have to down a large plate of jellied eels. He’s havin’ a larf! I settle for cockles while the rest of them tuck into jellied eels and whelks on Ryde Esplanade. Ryde’s a lovely town for just pottering around, and we have a great afternoon with good company. Homeward bound, and Max decides if he has to go back on the train, he’s going to ride in comfort. Unfortunately for Sandra P, he decides the most comfortable place on the train is her lap! By the time we reach Shanklin, she’s numb from the thighs down, having traveled from Ryde with a Labrador on her lap. However, we have a lovely surprise to go back to. Sandra and Terry, Lesley and Jack and Glenys and John are cooking a barbecue with all the trimmings for Tony, Larry, June and Sandr P. Sandra E sits the hosts in the far corner of her awning, so nobody can see them! Its good fun hosting a rally, but it’s lovely to be off duty for a few hours. After disposing of enough food to feed a Third World country, we troop off to the Liberal Club to see if England can improve on Saturday’s performance. They scrape through, and another six quid goes into the charity box. Larry manages not to swear at all – Tony is Champion Curser this time. Unfortunately, as Sandra P don’t allow him any pocket money, she has to pay for his expletives, so it’s an expensive night! Wednesday 21st June
June finds a lovely riverside pub for lunch. When they finally manage to separate Brian George and Pete Keeley from their pint glasses, they visit a vineyard. The idea is to buy some wine to take home, but after tasting it, they decide it’s not such a good idea after all. Perhaps their taste buds have been numbed by all the alcohol that’s washed over them during the last week or so, but Sandra P reckons she had “never tasted anything so awful in my life!” It’s about the first time ever she’d come away from a tasting without trying everything on the table. After a quick wash and brush up, it’s off to the Wight Mouse again. Another brilliant meal.I try the grilled Sea Bass, while Jack has Steak & Ale pie again. It’s very windy during the night, and Larry is out of bed repegging the gazebos at 2.00am. Thursday 22nd June Despite Larry’s nocturnal efforts, the gazebos are definitely wonky. More straightening and repegging is needed. Some unkind person suggests that the reason the gazebos are leaning is because of all the alcohol fumes they have absorbed over the last fortnight, but we don’t believe that, do we, boys and girls?
Next stop is Winkle Street, another time warp. They don’t even allow cars down there, as they would be out of place among the olde worlde cottages. 2 mishaps on the way – our navigator June takes us the scenic route, which includes an unscheduled whiz through Newport, and Jack decides to seek attention by passing out on us. We prop him up on the plastic stool we’re using for a step until he comes to. It’s not very often that a member of SWP passes out without the assistance of alcohol, but this is one of those occasions. Happily, Jack is fully recovered by the time we stop for lunch at the White Lion at Niton. This has been recommended to us by Mike, the site warden, and we can see what he means. The food is absolutely fabulous, and the barmaid is up for a larf with our Tel and the rest of us. Our corner is a bit noisy, so we feel sorry for a young couple who are trying to have a romantic ‘diner a deux,’ but they assure us that we have made their day. We’re meeting some smashing people on this trip.
The food is great, the entertainers are brilliant, and the booze is cheap. What more can one ask for on an evening out? Well, I hate to introduce a sour note into the diary, but we could have done without all the hassle over smoking. Some people just can’t accept that others have different viewpoints. I won’t labour the point, but, as rally hosts, Sandra P, Tony, June & Larry weren’t too happy that persons unknown went behind their backs, against MCC policy, to try to make our function room non-smoking for the entire evening. There was a lot of needless upset, and three committee members and Jack were insulted. Live and let live, I say. We are, after all, ‘The Friendliest Club!’ Let’s keep it that way. Friday 23rd June Up with the lark, after a very late night, for our Solent Cruise. On the Island Tour on Monday, a very nice man called Dave came on our coach and asked if we’d like to do a cruise across the Solent and around the naval dockyard in Portsmouth. As we have a lot of matelots on the rally, this was thought to be A Very Good Idea. Tony cried off, but, as he gets seasick on the Torpoint Ferry, this was hardly surprising. 40 seafarers set off to Cowes for the cruise. They knew they were in for a larf when they started to play the theme tune from ‘Titanic’ and the Captain said, ‘Oops, sorry. Wrong CD!’ the cruise was brilliant, with lovely weather and lots of boats to see. There was even a Russian destroyer in port, which is a very rare occurrence. What a wonderful end to the holiday! But it’s not over yet! There’s a communal barbecue to look forward to tonight. While some were out cruising the Solent, Sandra, Glenys and Lesley kindly went out and bought industrial quantities of burgers, bangers and chicken. About 60 campers turned out for the barbecue, and a bit of impromptu entertainment from Tony and Dot Rickard. We’ve made some really good friends on this rally – we’ll be sorry to say goodbye tomorrow. A sad end to the evening – Bill Adams is whisked off to hospital with a suspected heart attack. He was only discharged from hospital the day before the rally began, so he has done well to stay the course, but we all feel for him, and his wife, Sue. Saturday 24th June Off we jolly well go! It takes about twice as long to strike camp as normal, as everyone is coming over to say goodbye. A rally is only as good as the people attending it, and our people have been brilliant. Sue Adams may need to spend a few extra days on the island due to Bill’s illness, but Peter and Di Fox and Mike the site warden will keep a friendly eye on her. We’ve had such a good time that we don’t want the holiday to end. 12 of us decide to overnight in Poole and have a big barbecue, as the weather is so good. Dave and Anna Weston only live 10 minutes down the road from the site, South Lytchet Manor, but they decide to spend the night with us anyway. This is where the great Terry Earles Wind Up Mark 2 comes into being. Those of us who were on the earlier ferry waste no time in getting out the wine boxes and chairs. As Terry was one of those in the firing line over the smoking issue on Thursday evening, John Stephenson mused that it would be really funny if we could convince him that we were spending the night on a non-smoking site. This was too good an opportunity to miss, so Sandra P went to see the site owner, David, and asked him if he would do the honours. David asked if he could take Terry’s money first, which we agreed would make the whole thing even better. As luck would have it, Dave and Anna Weston checked in at the same time as Terry and Sandra E, so they heard the whole thing. Not only did David tell Terry the site was non-smoking, he also told him that barbecues weren’t allowed. Nice one, David! When Terry finally made it to our corner of the field, he was greeted by Jack Dempsey puffing on a huge cigar. That’s twice we’ve caught Terry this holiday, so we’ll have to watch our backs. He’s sure to want revenge! Terry & Jackie, Lesley’s Brother & Sister-in-law come out for a drink Lesley is so relaxed she’s in danger of ‘doing a Jack.’ What a great evening! Sunday 25th June We’re up reasonably early to cook a big breakfast before we all go our separate ways. Larry says he’s not hungry, but that’s because he doesn’t want to miss England playing Ecuador this afternoon. Larry, it isn’t going to take 6 hours to do 120 miles. Let June have a sausage! Just as we light the barbecues, the heavens open, but we carry on undaunted, under umbrellas and John and Glenys’s awning. Sandra Earles fetches her new gas stove to heat the baked beans on, but it refuses to light. One of the more technically-minded members of the party asks if there is a gas bottle in the stove? No there isn’t! Undaunted, Sandra fetches the gas bottle, but it won’t fit in the stove. Could that possibly be because the hotplate is upside down, Sandra? Well, what do you expect? As has been noted before, she is blonde! All too soon, breakfast is over and so is our holiday. It’s been great fun. We’ve made new friends and got to know old ones even better. As I said before, a rally is only as good as the people attending it. On that basis, this has been one of the best. Here’s to the next one! Thanks to Sandra Piddock who did some of the diary writing. The Holiday Rally Song We took the MCC to the Isle of Wight, He’s sneaked off to the van, where he can’t be seen, She’s off around the field flogging Bonus Balls, She took Brodie for a walk, and he gave her the slip. He’s locked himself out of the van once more. She’s just disappeared into Larry’s van, He’s directing all the traffic round the broken down bus. He’s riding round the island on his mountain bike, He’s suffering from a dreadful disability, He’s gone to the Liberal Club to watch the World Cup, In the middle of a monologue which was very good, They’ve gone to Lower Hyde in Shanklin town,
The Ovaltinies Song We are the Ovaltineys, little girls and boys.
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A hectic afternoon letting everyone know what was happening tonight. June went round the field flogging Bonus Balls. As England were playing, she didn’t do too well, but she managed to natter to a couple of football widows to pass the afternoon. England scraped through, but, as nobody scored, our sweepstake rolls over to Thursday. Larry said we wouldn’t bother with the swear bucket as there were only 4 of us in the van. Good job, as Sandra’s expletive count was 18, which would have cost her £1.80! 
Highlight of the morning was The Great Terry Earles wind-up. At Carlyon Bay in May, Jack Dempsey caught Terry drinking Ovaltine instead of his usual Guinness. Not being one to keep such a gem to himself, Jack downloaded the history of Ovaltine, the Ovaltineys Song and a membership certificate from the Internet. We laid on a ‘This is Your Life,’ followed by a rendition of the Ovaltineys song and a presentation of a jar of Ovaltine. We also forged a Compulsory Transfer Certificate. Here in SWP, we can’t cope with members who can’t drink industrial quantities of alcohol. What a wind up!
We spent an interesting morning at the Amazon World, viewing animals and museum exhibits. Lunch was very pleasant. June directed us to a pub with large terrace where we enjoyed a leisurely lunch before retuning to the site. Glenys and John kindly looked after Max for the morning, and said he was lovely!
A bright day dawned and Lesley, Jack, Terry and Sandra E set off for a drive round the Island. Larry & June were on dog patrol. We stopped at Bembridge for coffe and Ryde for elevenses, where Terry and Sandra had Jellied eels – Yuk! Lunch found us heading on the chain ferry from East Cowes into West Cowes, where we found a very nice café serving a very cheap but delicious Sunday Roast. Afternoon tea was had at Victoria Fort, with views over the solent. Then it was a trip out to see the needles, and the coastal route back to the camp site, returing in time for SWP’s version of the X Factor, which Terry was comparing. We all know we are well endowed with homegrown talent in SWP, but it was a revelation to see how many performers came forward from our guest groups. We had a Pam Ayres soundalike, some great musicians, Hinge and Bracket from Yorkshire, and our own Terry, Brian and June. Jack Dempsey bought the house down with the sad story of ‘Paddy’s Sick Note,’ complete with blood, bandages and 
A large group including Jack Lesley, John and Dot went off to Osborne House and gardens. It was very nice but a bit of a let down after recently seeing Blenheim Palace. The house was very dark, and the furnishings were very somber.
Off in the minibus again. First stop is the Donkey Sanctuary at Wroxall. Everybody enjoys it, although some of the donkeys look even more clapped out than we are. What you might call wonky donkeys, if you were a poet! Then we make a coffee stop at Godshill. June thought Terry might like to see the village, as he wasn’t with us on Monday, but he doesn’t get any further than the café in the car park.
Final stop is the Botanical Gardens at Ventnor. After a suitable plant fix, we head back to base camp to doll ourselves up for our Farewell Party at the Liberal Club. (Yes, I know tonight isn’t our last night, but the Liberal Club couldn’t cope with 120 hungry campers on Friday!) 